The emblem on the back of all my notecards is very meaningful to me. It stands for Egg Shell Free Living (ESFL). It’s one of my favorite things about the life I live now. Never wanna go back to walking on eggshells.
I once skipped an obligatory event to spend time with a new friend. We had so much fun crafting and laughing together. We snacked and listened to music. I loved being around her! She was so easy to be with and she made me feel OK to be me.
It hit me hard tho how different I’d felt most of my life. Especially how I felt around the people I had ditched that day. It was like I was breathing for the first time and didn’t even know I’d been holding my breath. That’s when I realized I wanted much more of this …and much less of that.
I needed more relationships like this. Real. Accepting. Loving. And less of being on guard, walking on eggshells and planning my exit. That day was pivotal for me. It made me really examine all of my relationships and cultivate the ones that were honest, safe and reciprocal. And to set boundaries on the others.
We are never going to get along with everyone. But scripture calls us to live at peace with everyone as far as it depends on us.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
Setting boundaries is going to make some folks angry – I learned if that was the case, well, they are not my people. I can be kind, but firm, and in my mind delegate them to my outer circle. I don’t have to answer to them. They don’t get access to my decisions, my schedule or my other relationships. I may still have to see them now and then but it will be on my own terms. Do I need to discuss all of this with them? Nope. I can be polite and do no harm, yet protect my peace.
I quietly started to build an inner circle of friends. As an introvert, it was a bit daunting, but I began to really take note of who I felt safe around. And also determined that I wanted to be a safe person for others. Because giving space and inviting people to be themselves is the greatest gift we can give.
I tend to keep my concept of a friendship circle fairly simple. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt – but I either trust you or I don’t.
This shift has made all the difference! The drama and stress levels took a sharp decline. The joy and peace soared. Especially the peace.
Never going back. ESFL baby!
